That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.